My wife hits me

My Wife Hits Me, Main Reasons and 7 Best Actions to Take

This article will dig into a susceptible and overlooked topic that deserves society’s attention. It’s generally assumed that a man is responsible for domestic violence, but sometimes the reality is entirely different. These days, there are many cases in which a man finds himself in distressing situations, struggling against violence from his wife. 

When you tell others your wife hits you, understand how emotionally damaging it could be. The purpose of this article is not only to provide you with information on dealing with physical aggression from your wife but also to make you aware of the importance of seeking help when needed. 

No one deserves any abuse, regardless of circumstances and gender. So, let’s shed some light on this social issue together to explore practical ways of handling it without worsening the situation. 

Statistics of Male Victimization 

According to the statistics, men are more likely to experience physical violence, sexual violence, and stalking than women. Most of these victimizations occur before age 25, and many of these victims experience this violence before age 18. 

Why Does My Wife Hit Me?

Why does my wife hits me?

There can be different reasons behind such behavior. Your wife may be hitting you in anger and frustration. It might be possible that she feels attacked, grown up in a physically violent environment where she has seen these things as normal behavior. 

Here are the few main reasons why your wife hits you:

She grew up in a violent environment

If your wife is brought up in a violent environment, she can be accustomed to such things. Witnessing her mother or father being verbally and physically abusive, she picked up their habits. 

Growing up in an area with domestic abuse, gangsterism, and alcoholism is mentally damaging to the health. It’s tough to undo such damages when you have witnessed many horrible and toxic things. 

However, a licensed psychologist can help her overcome all the trauma and benefit her mental health. 

She has been physically assaulted.

If your wife has been physically assaulted in the past, she might feel the need to defend herself as she was preyed on to the point of her weakness. The fact that she was attacked in the past has made her violent and frustrated. 

Your wife can hit you to manipulate you.

If you feel your wife has narcissistic tendencies, she may be hitting you to manipulate the situation. She can use this trick to get her way when she knows that you will not hit back. 

She will make you feel guilty for her reaction or maybe fearful of upsetting her. Besides, it is also observed that some women are hit when they lose an argument and can’t continue the discussion. 

She is angry and frustrated.

If your wife is hitting you in moments of conflict and fights, there are maximum chances she is frustrated and angry. She may feel that you are not listening to her point of view, and she is doing it to get your attention. 

In addition, she may be struggling to express her emotions verbally and respond physically as she cannot tell her feelings and emotions in words. 

She was in an abusive relationship before

If, before getting married, she was in an abusive relationship, she may be carrying the baggage from that relationship. Being in an abusive relationship in the past must have made her feel disappointed in herself to bear such things.

She is getting violent and doesn’t want to be in the same situation again. Her hardships can profoundly impact her mental health, making her accustomed to the violent behavior. She is doing all this to protect herself from aggression, anger, and violence; she doesn’t want to relive that past. 

What to do if your wife hits you?

If your wife hits you, the first thing is to remind yourself that she didn’t mean it but was angry or frustrated. She will feel guilty afterward and blame these things on herself. There are things you can do to help her in this time instead of taking it personally.

But if hitting is not a mistake but is becoming a habit, then it’s essential to stop it. No one in the world deserves to be treated violently despite their gender. 

Stay calm

You may be overwhelmed, but staying as calm as possible is essential. Reacting without forethought can make the situation worse. 

Document the incident

Keep track of the physical violence behavior like time, dates, and other details like the reason behind it. Such documentation helps in the legal actions in case you need it afterward.

Remove yourself in case of danger.

If she physically harms you, stepping out of the place is better to ensure your safety. Go to a better and safer place till the tension decreases. 

Avoid physical altercations

Avoiding a violent response to your wife’s violent behavior is essential. Instead, try to maintain your composure and calm her down. If necessary, place restrictions on her so that she knows she can’t do such things if she wants the relationship to survive

Your primary purpose behind such things should be maintaining a harmonious environment around the house. 

Openly communicate with your wife.

We talk about her aggressive behavior when her anger disappears, and she is calm. Have an honest and open conversation with her and tell her how such behavior affects you physically and emotionally. 

Don’t challenge her.

Nothing can be resolved by arguing in such a situation. It will only worsen the situation and make things even worse. If she is yelling in anger, then let her calm down instead of making a counterattack or arguing. 

When you notice she is in a situation, talk about how such behavior will affect your relationship. 

Seek support from friends, family, or professionals

Reach out to someone you unquestioningly trust and who can help you with their wise guidance in this challenging time. Sharing your feelings and situation with others can help you calm down and think wisely. 

If you feel her anger is because of her experience, attend therapies and sessions to make her feel better. Professional help is always better than going through all this. It’s better for you, your wife, and your relationship. 


After going through different steps and strategies for dealing with “my wife hits me,” it’s vital to remember that every situation is unique. There is possibly no one-size solution to solve such complex issues. However, these guidelines and practical things will tell you what to do when your wife hits you. 

Don’t forget to prioritize your safety first. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, either physical or emotional, seek professional help. Don’t hesitate to contact family, friends, or professionals for support and guidance. 

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