Jealousy is not rare; even the most self-assured and confident person can feel it occasionally. Jealousy is a pervasive human nature that comes with confusion and shame.
Sometimes jealousy gets on your mind after a breakup, screaming something is awry. And there are times when jealousy arises when nothing much is happening around. Besides, sometimes it becomes difficult to get over jealousy after a breakup.
When your ex starts dating someone new, you start wondering how you have lots of fights while he is happy now with their new partner. In such cases, you can’t protest, making you feel more angry and disappointed with overwhelming jealousy.
Fortunately, many ways can help you get over jealousy after a breakup.
1. Understand What Jealousy Is
Jealousy is not generally destructive; it’s normal to have such emotions when feeling wrong about something. Everyone feels jealous at some point in their life. Jealousy usually happens when you lose something that you used to have. In your case, it’s because of your ex.
Most of the time, jealousy is an irrational and unfounded emotion. For example, you may be jealous because you think your ex has already gotten over you while you are still struggling, but the possibility is he is still recovering from the breakup.
The simple fact is that the mind gives us the worst-case scenarios that make us jealous, but remember that they are not the reality.
2. Get a hold on yourself.
No matter how long, tell yourself everything will be okay. Remind yourself all the scenarios your head is making are not absolute; these are just the feelings making you panic and jealous. Nothing is coming that can threaten you.
To feel at ease, you must get rid of these feelings to be in control and deal with all the negative emotions. Rather than feeling helpless, find ways to cope with these jealous feelings.
Thinking about all the negative emotions will only make you feel at a loss. Negative emotions and jealousy will not let you eliminate the feelings, making you feel worse. Be more kind to yourself and ask if you deserve to go through this negativity.
3. Validate your jealousy
Acknowledge that you are feeling jealous, though it’s heartbreaking, but accept that you are going through it. You will only feel burdened and sabotaged if you don’t get it. When you don’t accept that you are jealous, you will start judging yourself badly and feel depressed.
Accept it to avoid lashing your anger out at others or showing up at your ex’s house unannounced to beg for a chance. You will feel less burden and can get out of this feeling attractively.
4. Look around yourself
Look at your family, friends, home, office, or career. Acknowledge how great people and opportunities are surrounding you all the time. Give more attention to the people who bring happiness to your life.
Think of all the nice things you have done for others and others have done for you. It will make you feel content and happier. Thinking about all these happy moments will make you confident to accomplish more good things that will bring joy and jealousy far away.
5. Avoid social media
The last thing you think of doing in such a situation is seeing the relationship updates of your relationships or romantic photos with your new partner. Such items will only make you regret your decision even though you feel relaxed after the breakup. Cut all the ties online till you overcome all the jealousy.
6. Practice self-love
No matter how much you delay, there will be a point in which you will have to accept that your relationship is over and you have to grow up. Jealousy is a sign for you that you are taking yourself lightly. Jealousy comes when you feel unworthy or inadequate in some things.
Though all your feelings are valid after a breakup, you must eliminate them at some point. Focus more on the things you feel grateful for in your life, and do it by writing down the 5 things you feel thankful for.
Focus more on your interests and hobbies you couldn’t pursue because of your relationship.
7. Meditation
Meditation makes us realize that thoughts just come and go. Only the owner of those thoughts can bring them to reality. Meditation gives us the power to let these thoughts come in and out without doing any damage.
In short, meditation teaches us emotional recall and detachment, which helps when we must let them go.
When you meditate, there will be only you and your thoughts. You will have to answer all your questions honestly and get benefits in getting rid of jealousy after a breakup.
8. Don’t respond poorly to jealousy.
For most people, the first response after getting jealous is acting jealous. For example, the guy who doesn’t like a specific boy band buys a ticket because her girlfriend is doing so. He did that to ensure she wasn’t hooking up with others there.
That’s when the jealousy that was a normal behavior becomes terrible. And you are the one who makes it like that. Therefore, the better way to overcome it is by behaving responsibly.
9. Start your own dating life.
Instead of spying on your ex and getting jealous, starting your dating life fresh is the best way to overcome it. You will only find someone suitable when you are mentally available.
Firstly, forget about your ex entirely and have a fresh start. Are you still waiting to be ready to date? Pursue a degree or a course you always wanted to get busy with other joys of your life. You will not regret any decision or get jealous when you enjoy yourself daily.
FAQ’s
How to get rid of jealousy after a breakup?
Follow the following steps to get rid of the jealousy and move on with your life:
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Remind yourself of the reason for your breakup
- Avoid using social media
- Do meditation or take therapy
- Start dating again
Is it normal to get jealous after a breakup?
It is expected to feel jealous seeing your ex moving on in their life while you are stuck. But being that way is your choice. Fortunately, many ways exist to overcome that feeling and be happy with your life. Just remind yourself there are many people around you waiting to see you happy and moving on with your life.
Can Jealousy bring back your ex?
If your ex hasn’t moved on and is still interested in moving back with you, making them jealous may work. But, if your break up was on bad terms and he is moving on with life, you will probably not get back together.
What heals jealousy?
Discussing your thoughts with a family member or friend will help you improve. Being honest with yourself will help you cope with jealousy a lot faster. Just remind yourself of all the good moments and opportunities you look forward to.
What causes jealousy?
Many factors like bad childhood trauma, bad experiences, or anxious attachment style can make you feel jealous. Some common signs of retroactive jealousy include difficulty trusting people around you, comparing yourself with your partner’s ex, or having extreme possessions over electronics.
Conclusion
Seeing your ex move on with their life fast is tough enough to make you jealous. But it’s important to realize that it’s expected to happen, but sticking to it for a long time is not.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships states that around 40% of participants feel jealous of their ex after their breakup. It’s essential to take proper measures to avoid such feelings and get out of the breakup trauma.
Do everything you love, enjoy your hobbies, spend time with people who want to see you happy, and be grateful for all the opportunities and blessings. Don’t stalk your ex or their new partner. Aim for something and work hard to achieve it.
Hi! I’m Rabia Sehar, a motivated, passionate and sophisticated writer aspiring to make my dreams come true. Writing about health, wellness, mental health, and lifestyle is something I specialize in and am passionate about. I love traveling, reading, composing, and entertaining. As a health advocate, I am passionate about creating content that educates people on leading a healthy life. Health is the actual wealth so try your best to keep it.
